PUI (90) commuter marriage (40) research with undergrads (26) workload (24) work-family balance (20) single motherhood (18) working while pregnant (15) house moving (14) just bitching (9) self-flagellation (8) gym (5) self confidence (5) Skype (4) Tenure Bid (3) community service (2) science geek-out (2) . (1)
Monday, June 28, 2010
Y juncture tomorrow
My research student and I need to do a day long procedure that involves hazmat. Stu has never done it before. I need to be with Stu. Tomorrow is supposed to be a normal workday in the lab.
However, I have a pre-natal appt from 12-2p. Relatively inconvenient, but ok to plan an incubation or something then. BUT the real estate agent wants this house on the market this week. I feel haste to get it ready too. Painter is painting NOW, helper is coming to help move furniture, etc. daily. Real estate agent scheduled a "professional stager" to come tomorrow 2-4p and the photographer on Thursday. Wednesday there will be a home inspection 2-4p of "Upgrade" and I feel I need to be present.
Friday Boy and I go to Big City to see Dad and meet up with a former colleague from Prestigious International Research Institute. Real estate agent will be gone on vacation all next week. It's either this week or wait for two weeks on the house.
Do I choose, once again, to take care of the things with immediate deadlines over my research projects, which don't feel as pressing (but SHOULD be)? Do I e-mail my student and say too much of the chunk of the day is gone tomorrow to personal appointments and put off the procedure? Do I tell the real estate agent to take a leap, and that we will pick this business up when he gets back? Will putting off the tasks required to sell the house for the sake of the research project cause us to lose the contract on "Upgrade" (there's a kick-out clause... the owners can release themselves from our contract if they get a better one)?
It feels like this decision is representative of all the former and future accumulated decisions regarding my research program which makes it so hard to publish in my PUI (summertime) world. I won't be fired if I don't get the paper published immediately. Ah, as a post-doc, there was only one thing to do: get my data and get my paper out. Now there's no such (pressing) obligation. That makes it sooo hard to say no to immediate teaching obligations, and even big personal obligations when they conflict with lab work.
I will probably find a compromise somehow... this is story of my current life... not doing anything well or fully to try to fit it all in. And I still have this nagging feeling that truly disciplined people can manage it all. If only I could crank up the discipline, I could do it!!! Is that true? I don't know, but the idea won't leave me alone.... AUUUGH.