Thursday, September 8, 2011

9-12-3-6 in, 9-12-3-6 out

Night in- night out, Girl (1 yo) still wakes up several times in the middle of the night. It was a rock-solid schedule of wake-ups at 9p, 12a, 3a and up for good at 6a before we went on vacation at the end of July. The schedule has wobbled a bit since then, especially since we moved the kids together into one room to accommodate our exchange student (more here). But last night was another nearly on-the-dot 9-12-3-6.

This has been tough in the past, see here and here. Realizing that I have had 3 nights in which I slept 8 hours uninterrupted in an entire year (or more) was discouraging. But what was really discouraging was that I haven't really had more than three hours at a time for the same period.
And I NEED sleep.
And its not getting better.
And she's a YEAR OLD!
I reported here a blissful night where Girl slept all the way through. And seemed hopeful here. It was not to last, though, and in retrospect it felt like hitting the lottery, probably becuase the chances of it happening are equivalent! AUGH!


  1. I'm so sorry... That's really tough. I think you are absolutely amazing to handle two kids, one an infant, all on your own.

    With each of my older boys the waking pattern was similar, and at some point we had to go the "cry it out" (CIO) route. It was a bit heartbreaking at the time, but within 3 nights they were sleeping through the night. With the older, we did it when he was 1.5 yrs old, with the younger one around 8 months, I think.

  2. That sounds so horrible, I am really sorry things aren't better. We had a similar wake up schedule with our daughter and went the CIO route at 4 months. Now she is down to one wake-up a night. It was a tough week but she never seemed the worse for wear in the morning and I have a smidge of my sanity back. You have my sympathies and awe at all you are managing on so little sleep.

  3. Time for some tough love. That baby needs to cry it out a bit and start sleeping 9-6.

  4. How do you feel about cosleeping? That is how I handle this.

    My first didn't sleep through the night until she was 2. She is now 4, and has been sleeping through on her own pretty consistently since she was 2. My second has slept through a few times (including last night! So nice!) but usually still wakes up at least once in the night (she is now almost 2). With my first, I really suffered. She was not a good candidate for CIO (she worked herself up when she cried, and wouldn't eventually calm down- even now, she usually needs help calming down if she gets upset, although obviously, she's gotten better). I fought the idea of cosleeping, because I was sure we'd "never" get her out of our bed, but I eventually caved out of desperation/exhaustion and started partial night cosleeping when she was about 20 months old. I wish we'd done it earlier. I got more sleep, and the transition from that was painless, really, so my worries were unfounded.

    I caved much earlier the second time around, during the 9 month sleep issues brought on by separation anxiety. We've been partial night cosleeping ever since, and that and the fact that I finally figured out how to nurse lying down really help, particularly since baby #2 wants nothing to do with her Daddy at night, and I'm not willing to push that issue since her screaming wakes up kid #1 and then we are all super grumpy the next day.

    So, when she wakes up, I bring her into bed with me, and we sleep the rest of the night there. If she wakes up again to nurse, I don't have to rouse myself. But she actually wakes up less when she's cosleeping, and most nights, we both just sleep through the rest of the night.

    I suspect we'll stop this at about the time we wean, just like we did the first time around.

    Anyway, there is nothing wrong with CIO AT ALL, but if you don't want to do it or don't think it will work for your kid, you could try partial night cosleeping.

  5. You'll get lot of advice on this, I'm sure. You know what's right for you and your kid, but I will tell you we used Jodi Mindell ( with good success with both kids.

    I can also tell you that pretty much anything you do to resolve this will prove to be worth it in the end.

    I feel for you!

  6. Sleep has been quite a challenge for us also, with a recent improvement torn to shreds by teething yet again... I hope things improve for you soon, and in the meanwhile, I too will keep an eye on the advice you get!