Monday, March 21, 2011

Stop Naggin' Us

I have a good friend who, whenever we have time for a real in-depth talks, asks me when we are going to solve the distance-marriage problem. Nothing changes in the job situation between our talks, but that doesn't prevent her from asking fairly regularly. She brainstorms ideas of how to get Hub back home, but they are unfortunately the same venues we have already exhausted. I appreciate her concern and even pushing, but it also reminds me that there doesn't seem to be an end in sight. When I have to defend our seemingly endless separation, it makes me feel worse, as if I like it somehow. I certainly don't.


  1. Ugh, I feel your pain. Hub and I have been in a LDR for about a year now. It's starting to wear on us, and I enjoy reading your blog for support and inspiration (i.e. "If PUI Prof can do it with 2 kids, surely I can handle it with no kids!") Also wearing on us are the constant questions/nagging from family/friends about when we'll be living together again. It can be a difficult situation for non-academics to understand. Hub's stepmother went so far as to tell hub, "Wife doesn't live with you, well...Get a new wife!" (In her defense, English is not her first language and I'm pretty certain she doesn't quite grasp why I'm not living with hub.)

  2. Can you talk to your friend and tell her that although you know that she is trying to help, talking about the long-distance marriage and trying to solve the problem is really hard for you right now? Tell her that you prefer not to talk about it at all because doing so makes it difficult.

    We did the long distance thing for a few months and it was really hard so I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. Hang in there...sending you vibes of support and non-nagging vibes.

  3. I become that friend in my mind when I hear about LDRs and my friends. No one wants that for anyone, but it's just like so many other things that you really have to consciously strive to not be an ass about.