Over at FSP, she posted a poll that apparently struck a real nerve on stay-at-home spouses. I participated in the comments, and got a nasty little (anonymous) comment from someone who responds to mine by saying "talk about the me generation". Oh, Please! Check it out...
By the way, the "friend" I refer to as having "wife-as-household-staff" is none other than "Rock Star" from this post.
But this comment has gotten me thinking, do I come across as "whiny" in this blog? Is this person right in calling me out? Or is that just a nasty person angry about something that has nothing to do with me? I'm a sensitive person. I'll at least think about it before I blow it off...
I'm experimenting with polls anyway, so here's a fun exercise...
I am a professor at a primarily undergraduate institution. My spouse is a research professor and works two hours' drive away. This blog is primarily about life at a PUI, but also about our family trying to make the most of an uncomfortable lifestyle.
Birth Story
PUI
(90)
commuter marriage
(40)
research with undergrads
(26)
workload
(24)
work-family balance
(20)
single motherhood
(18)
working while pregnant
(15)
house moving
(14)
just bitching
(9)
self-flagellation
(8)
gym
(5)
self confidence
(5)
Skype
(4)
Tenure Bid
(3)
community service
(2)
science geek-out
(2)
.
(1)
PUI,
ReplyDeleteI don't think your posts are whiny; life is simply messy and complicated, and you choose to write about it honestly. Keep up the good blogging, I am enjoying your posts!
I am actually surprised that your post quoted above did not get more comments.
I completely agree that if you are to follow a (male) Rock Star, you are likely in for a lot of loneliness. I know of a Rock Star in my department who ended up divorced because his wife, who left everything to support his career for what she thought were a finite number of important years (first tenure, then to get full prof, then whatever else) had enough after realizing all the travel, grant chasing, constant absence, will never stop. The wife left him and divorced him promptly; now that they are divorced, I hear he finally actually spends some time with the kids.
Thanks everyone, esp geekmommyprof. *clap, clap clap* that was the sound of me making the "dusting the hands off, finished with that crap" gesture.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure that Rock Star hasn't changed his behavior much, but perhaps his wife tolerates it. I know I couldn't have.
pah, never mind those anonymous comments. I don't find you whiny. Although, I think you could whiny quite a lot considering your situation ;)
ReplyDeleteI think people tend to forget that being alone, with spouse away, and having both job and children to take care of is stressful. Adding writing papers and teaching on top of that... well, venting is certainly ok.
It's not like you are wirting "boho, poor me" but rather telling your life and what might pose a problem and a challenge.
as for the spouse thing, I'm going to be quiet