These last two days have been faculty staff conference. I have a lot to report, especially on the theme of homogeneity. But I am utterly exhausted. Along those lines, my baby dropped Sunday night while I slept (STOP HERE IF EASILY GROSSED OUT). Which means all the "upper symptoms" difficulty breathing, stomach full easily, heartburn are lessened. While the "lower sypmtoms" frequent peeing, loose bowel movements, have gotten worse. And then today at my midday bathroom trip, I passed my mucus plug.
It could still be potentially weeks away, or it could be tonight.
In the next few days would be preferable simply because Hub will be home. If not, then how about NEXT weekend? Just don't want to go into labor while Hub is away... please please!
Showing posts with label working while pregnant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label working while pregnant. Show all posts
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
To-do list and Update on Day Care
Still pregnant, thanks for asking. A little more fatigue, but still feeling good in general. Prenatal yoga rocks. :)
I am 38 weeks- so it could be any day or a month from now. Hoping to get more time to finish stuff up. Stuff that needs to be done (eeek!)
Advanced Cool Subject (the one course I'm teaching in Fall)
Four people will be instructing this course. I will lecture when I return, while I am away, Seasoned Colleague will begrudgingly do my lectures for me. Dept. Chair will supervise the Lab portion, but Recent Grad will be actually instructing.
Done: Syllabus written, lecture schedule written, place publisher's powerpoints and lab schedule on an accessible drive.
Min: confirm syllabus points and schedules with instructional team. Complete first two exams and post to lecture colleague's drive.
Ideal: complete ALL exams and study guides for the course.
Lower Level Cool Subject (farmed completely out)
Done: Syllbus written, schedule written, publisher's power points on accessible drive
Min: Meet with lab instructors (adjunct from another college). Ask which labs she would like to teach, make a list of materials that need to be ordered, order materials.
Ideal: write exams and study guides for course. Not likely this will be completed, but it is a control issue (rigor!).
Spring Research Course (Brand New Prep)
Haven't started to prep this course
Spring Non-Majors Course (Brand New Prep)
Have only aquired text and some supplemental materials.
Spring Bread and Butter Course (Lower Level Cool Subject II)
Haven't started, but will borrow heavily from previous year's materials
On another front, none of the spring courses can be taught without the help of the day care. After calming down a bit from the hysteria-inducing daycare meeting, Hub and I called parents (two completely difft prespectives; Hub's folks upper class, mine lower-middle), and we began researching options. I have placed Boy's name on a waiting list (LONG) for a similarly-priced day care further away with unlimited flexibility. The disad to the new day care is that it doesn't take infants (which I need in the spring).
I have also talked to my colleague who uses our current day care. She has already had a meeting with the day care director. She tells me that the director treated her with flexibility, especially if my colleague will provide her with a schedule in advance. Moreover, as predicted, director has been fielding calls and meetings from "concerned" parents all week. Mmmmn, hmmmmm. Readers, you saw that one coming.
Hub and I have our appt with the director on Friday. She should be all softened up by then. We probably have a fighting chance to negotiate what we need.
I am 38 weeks- so it could be any day or a month from now. Hoping to get more time to finish stuff up. Stuff that needs to be done (eeek!)
Advanced Cool Subject (the one course I'm teaching in Fall)
Four people will be instructing this course. I will lecture when I return, while I am away, Seasoned Colleague will begrudgingly do my lectures for me. Dept. Chair will supervise the Lab portion, but Recent Grad will be actually instructing.
Done: Syllabus written, lecture schedule written, place publisher's powerpoints and lab schedule on an accessible drive.
Min: confirm syllabus points and schedules with instructional team. Complete first two exams and post to lecture colleague's drive.
Ideal: complete ALL exams and study guides for the course.
Lower Level Cool Subject (farmed completely out)
Done: Syllbus written, schedule written, publisher's power points on accessible drive
Min: Meet with lab instructors (adjunct from another college). Ask which labs she would like to teach, make a list of materials that need to be ordered, order materials.
Ideal: write exams and study guides for course. Not likely this will be completed, but it is a control issue (rigor!).
Spring Research Course (Brand New Prep)
Haven't started to prep this course
Spring Non-Majors Course (Brand New Prep)
Have only aquired text and some supplemental materials.
Spring Bread and Butter Course (Lower Level Cool Subject II)
Haven't started, but will borrow heavily from previous year's materials
On another front, none of the spring courses can be taught without the help of the day care. After calming down a bit from the hysteria-inducing daycare meeting, Hub and I called parents (two completely difft prespectives; Hub's folks upper class, mine lower-middle), and we began researching options. I have placed Boy's name on a waiting list (LONG) for a similarly-priced day care further away with unlimited flexibility. The disad to the new day care is that it doesn't take infants (which I need in the spring).
I have also talked to my colleague who uses our current day care. She has already had a meeting with the day care director. She tells me that the director treated her with flexibility, especially if my colleague will provide her with a schedule in advance. Moreover, as predicted, director has been fielding calls and meetings from "concerned" parents all week. Mmmmn, hmmmmm. Readers, you saw that one coming.
Hub and I have our appt with the director on Friday. She should be all softened up by then. We probably have a fighting chance to negotiate what we need.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Commuter Marriage Issue # 7 - Not making it to the hospital (fear of)
I have a very deep-seated, semi-irrational fear that my new baby, due August 26, will come very precipitously while Hub is away. Given that my first labor was 45 hours (yes, I AM serious), this seems unlikely. That doesn't prevent the thoughts/ fears/ nightmares of the following scenario: my labor starts, I can't reach Hub, I decide to drive myself to the Hospital (which is across town), and its move-in day for the Huge U in the middle of town. I envision myself trapped in my car in move-in traffic having a baby in the drivers seat. That's my worst fear, the second being having my baby alone at home.
I had NO fears like this for the first baby, I felt supported and ready. The fact that Hub is now two hours away (if there's no traffic snarls), and its much harder to get to the hospital these days, makes the whole "going into labor" thing so much more scary. I am NOT an anxious fearful person. And I've been through it before (45 hours, NO epidural- I have confidence in my ability to do it). Nonetheless, I can't shake these fears in my head!
I had NO fears like this for the first baby, I felt supported and ready. The fact that Hub is now two hours away (if there's no traffic snarls), and its much harder to get to the hospital these days, makes the whole "going into labor" thing so much more scary. I am NOT an anxious fearful person. And I've been through it before (45 hours, NO epidural- I have confidence in my ability to do it). Nonetheless, I can't shake these fears in my head!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Why do I feel so busy right now?
Well, classes are over. What do I do with my time now?
I'm disappointed to say that a collaborative grant written across several institutions did not get funded, so I won't be doing research that is FUNDED for several months. Here's what I need to do this summer anyway:
1. Finish straggler grading from one course (there's a lot). I can NEVER seem to get my grades in on time. Notes here and here and here.
2. Work with a research student independently. This is the student that got sick during the semester and needed to take an incomplete in research. More here and here.
3. Miscellaneous meetings, such as mock interviews for people going on to professional and graduate schools.
4. Various and sundry trainings, such as how to set up an online course, the faculty staff retreat, other committees that continue to meet beyond the school year.
5. Set up my one course for the fall, and do a lot of prep for the adjuncts we will be bringing in to cover my maternity.
6. Prep all my courses for the Spring, as I will return to full time in January, with a 2 year old, a 4 month old and an absentee husband. I CAN NOT develop two new courses after August.
7. Write my paper from several years of undergrad-powered research. I must first solve a major issue (at bottom) before starting to write it.
8. Is there any chance I'll get a research grant written this summer? Egads, I doubt it.
9. The home needs some major projects too. At MINIMUM, we have to rearrange rooms upstairs to accommodate another little resident in the home. Ideally we need to finish (erm, hire someone to finish) the basement so we can have an extra bedroom.
I'm disappointed to say that a collaborative grant written across several institutions did not get funded, so I won't be doing research that is FUNDED for several months. Here's what I need to do this summer anyway:
1. Finish straggler grading from one course (there's a lot). I can NEVER seem to get my grades in on time. Notes here and here and here.
2. Work with a research student independently. This is the student that got sick during the semester and needed to take an incomplete in research. More here and here.
3. Miscellaneous meetings, such as mock interviews for people going on to professional and graduate schools.
4. Various and sundry trainings, such as how to set up an online course, the faculty staff retreat, other committees that continue to meet beyond the school year.
5. Set up my one course for the fall, and do a lot of prep for the adjuncts we will be bringing in to cover my maternity.
6. Prep all my courses for the Spring, as I will return to full time in January, with a 2 year old, a 4 month old and an absentee husband. I CAN NOT develop two new courses after August.
7. Write my paper from several years of undergrad-powered research. I must first solve a major issue (at bottom) before starting to write it.
8. Is there any chance I'll get a research grant written this summer? Egads, I doubt it.
9. The home needs some major projects too. At MINIMUM, we have to rearrange rooms upstairs to accommodate another little resident in the home. Ideally we need to finish (erm, hire someone to finish) the basement so we can have an extra bedroom.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Protected Time, Wasted time.
Since I have gotten my energy back, and have felt my shoulders creeping upwards toward my ears, I have re-committed to getting to the pool a couple of times a week. It relieves the tension and staves off the back pain from my pregnancy. I really should consider it absolutely necessary.
Tuesday and Thursday afternoons I don't have classes, and this week I have been strong enough to resist the temptation to stay in my office in front of the computer. I made it to the pool both afternoons. While I would much rather go to the gym outside of traditional working hours, an 8 am class and day care/ Boydinner issues make it simply not possible.
Staying in my office seems like it would be productive, but it also invites drop-bys. As it is, I have enough scheduled meetings that seem like a waste of my time, I'm not going to invite any others.
A time-sucking drop-by happened the other day. I was working on something relatively pressing and my colleague was advising a student who had her heart set on studying something that we simply didn't have a major for (its typically a grad school field). She already had in mind that she would transfer to a school that did offer it as an undergrad major, but was curious _IF_ she stayed what courses she could register for that would transfer to her new school.
So colleague elicited my advice. Its true that I did have a few resources and ideas that he didn't, but it was a unscheduled, undesired suck of my time (~20 minutes). I learned something from the investigation I was recruited for, but it was a poor return on my investment.
I also have at least 4 hours of meetings this week with failing students who are going to beg me to give them extra credit opportunities, because they just now realized (after 15 weeks-- with one left to go) that they are in trouble. If I was truly efficient, I would simply deny their requests to meet. But their opinion of me helps get me tenure, and its my chance to give them a piece of my mind about not getting help sooner.
There's an old joke:
Patient: "Hey Doc, it hurts when I do this"
Doctor: "Well, don't do that, then"
That's me and these time-wasting student meetings. I feel a little trapped, unable to say no, so I bitch about them, and keep making them. I am to be an advisor and mentor and "in relationship" with them. At MINIMUM I must be available to them (that's on the course evals). Since I chose not to have set office hours this semester, I really do have to take requests meetings.
Here's an example:
You are borderline. If you pass the final, you pass the class, if you fail the final, you fail the class.
or
There is no mathematical possibility of you passing. Stick with it, because what you learn now will help you pass next year.
Frust-i-micating!!!
Tuesday and Thursday afternoons I don't have classes, and this week I have been strong enough to resist the temptation to stay in my office in front of the computer. I made it to the pool both afternoons. While I would much rather go to the gym outside of traditional working hours, an 8 am class and day care/ Boydinner issues make it simply not possible.
Staying in my office seems like it would be productive, but it also invites drop-bys. As it is, I have enough scheduled meetings that seem like a waste of my time, I'm not going to invite any others.
A time-sucking drop-by happened the other day. I was working on something relatively pressing and my colleague was advising a student who had her heart set on studying something that we simply didn't have a major for (its typically a grad school field). She already had in mind that she would transfer to a school that did offer it as an undergrad major, but was curious _IF_ she stayed what courses she could register for that would transfer to her new school.
So colleague elicited my advice. Its true that I did have a few resources and ideas that he didn't, but it was a unscheduled, undesired suck of my time (~20 minutes). I learned something from the investigation I was recruited for, but it was a poor return on my investment.
I also have at least 4 hours of meetings this week with failing students who are going to beg me to give them extra credit opportunities, because they just now realized (after 15 weeks-- with one left to go) that they are in trouble. If I was truly efficient, I would simply deny their requests to meet. But their opinion of me helps get me tenure, and its my chance to give them a piece of my mind about not getting help sooner.
There's an old joke:
Patient: "Hey Doc, it hurts when I do this"
Doctor: "Well, don't do that, then"
That's me and these time-wasting student meetings. I feel a little trapped, unable to say no, so I bitch about them, and keep making them. I am to be an advisor and mentor and "in relationship" with them. At MINIMUM I must be available to them (that's on the course evals). Since I chose not to have set office hours this semester, I really do have to take requests meetings.
Here's an example:
i just wanted to either discuss my gradesBut basically I will tell them what they can (but don't want to) figure out for themselves. Its one of two things.
with you on here or set up a time to do
that! let me know what's best for you..
the only major thing i wanted to ask
was if you thought id be able to get a
D for this semester. I know my grade is
low as a result of poor exam scores,
therefore, i am hoping i can at least
pull off a D to pass the class. Just
let me know! i would appreciate it greatly!
You are borderline. If you pass the final, you pass the class, if you fail the final, you fail the class.
or
There is no mathematical possibility of you passing. Stick with it, because what you learn now will help you pass next year.
Frust-i-micating!!!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Where to start?
Topics from my life just today that I could expand on soon:
1. Mommy Woo: I go to a support group for mothers-to-be that is decidedly anti-medical. The support and true info is great, but the pseudoscience flying around is going to give me an aneurysm.
2. Stop wasting my time with your desperate attempt to make up for 30 weeks of bad attendance and half-assed work in these last two weeks of class!
3. High drama: Student calls today sobbing -she has to cancel her appointment because she found her aunt dead on the floor this morning.
4. You have got to be kidding me. You are going to do a 10-minute in-depth literature analysis on LOVE???? Who told you that topic was narrow enough?
5. Abysmal student presentations in Squishy Ego-boosting Class.
1. Mommy Woo: I go to a support group for mothers-to-be that is decidedly anti-medical. The support and true info is great, but the pseudoscience flying around is going to give me an aneurysm.
2. Stop wasting my time with your desperate attempt to make up for 30 weeks of bad attendance and half-assed work in these last two weeks of class!
3. High drama: Student calls today sobbing -she has to cancel her appointment because she found her aunt dead on the floor this morning.
4. You have got to be kidding me. You are going to do a 10-minute in-depth literature analysis on LOVE???? Who told you that topic was narrow enough?
5. Abysmal student presentations in Squishy Ego-boosting Class.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Another "one of those days"
This is not an untypical day at SRU for me right now.
7:20a: late getting baby to day care because of a melt down. My goal was to leave the house at 7:00a and be into work by 7:15 to finish setting up an elaborate lab for 8:00. Luckily, had a highly competent work study student working yesterday and lab was very well prepped.
8:00 Was able to start lab right on time with complete set-up.
9:20a: At this point, I am working very hard, as the students are unsure of what they are seeing in the microscopes, so I must go to each one (in the order that hands are raised- not spatially efficient)... a lot of "waitressing" type of work.
9:30a: students start wrapping up lab activities, and as they clean up, I give a very short lecturette/ demo introducing a new concept.
9:33a: in the middle of my talk, the Babyphone rings, I answer, apologizing to the class. I listen (with the entire class watching) as the day care director explains they have discovered a large injury on Boy that looks like a burn. I ask to call back in 5 minutes. I finish explaining the concept. I explain what the call was about.
9:37:, I slip out and call the day care back. I say, "If I can't be there in the next 5 minutes, I won't be there for another two hours."
9:38: I determine that I can make it to the day care and back before the next lab section starts at 10:10a. I ask the students if everyone can carry on in my absence, and check to make sure there are no potential safety issues. Then I leave.
9:45a (yes the day care is close... so close it is embarrassing to drive there). Boy certainly does have a huge welt of unknown origin. I decide some Greer's goo may help and run home (also close) to get it. Boy wails after he sees me and doesn't want me to leave.
10:00a drop off the goo. Boy wails after he sees me again and doesn't want me to leave.
10:08a back in the classroom again. Since the last section used all the materials that had been set up by the work study, I must rush to 1. give instructions and 2. distribute new materials. I would have done this in the period between labs had I not gone to the day care. This section is considerably more chaotic due to the lack of adequate preparation. This is a lot more "waitressing" work as I am running to get materials to everyone as needed AND answer microscope questions. Demo again, ask the students to clean up completely after themselves AND the previous section that didn't do so adequately because I want there to supervise them. There is lab from a different class immediately following mine.
11:55a, though there are still students working I leave early for a pre-natal appointment.
12:00 I drive by to get a decaf latte for lunch since it seems to be the only option. My joints ache from the "waitressing".
12:20 I arrive at my 12:00 "Centering" class... Centering is prenatal care in groups. The theme today is proper prenatal nutrition. I gulp down my latte for lunch during the talk. In addition, the group was asked to place ourselves on a series of continua: how well we eat, our dental hygiene, how stressed we feel, how well supported socially we are, how much caffeine we drink, etc. I was standing alone on the very stressed side. I decided that the stress has to go down, that my baby (fetus) may be at risk if I don't just let some things go!
2:00p centering over... important information that could have been conveyed to me in about an hour had it not been in the group setting. I have mixed feelings about this chunk of 2 precious hours used. I get fast food on the way back. It was totally unsatisfying.
2:30p: back at work. Immediately greeted at my door by multitudinous requests for my time starting with my research student working on the experiment for the big presentation. We discover my lab microwave is coated with unknown purple stuff. I am thoroughly irritated!
3:15p go into my office to send an e-mail request to my colleagues for information about the purple explosion, and am cut off by a student who is desperate for help on a paper presentation on Thursday. She waited too long to start, but I will help her nonetheless. She sits while I finish the e-mail, and then I start working with her.
3:40p Another student who is failing (and again, waited too long to talk to me about her grade) approaches and asks, "are you busy?, should I come back?" [Uh, yes, see this student in my office and the papers we are pouring over?] "Well, what is about?" "My grades" "Uh, no, please come back. I'm sorry". I choose the senior level procrastinating student over the freshman-level one whose efforts are likely futile. They were both drop-bys. Triage, I guess.
3:45p Research student returns to interrupt for some quick info. I have to send an e-mail to the other research student to make sure they don't duplicate effort. All while the "paper presentation" student is waiting.
4:00 I tell paper presentation student, that she's on her own from there.
4:10 A student with a dilemma about which summer research opportunity she should choose has her folks call me to ask about what to do. She has several deadlines and they are all tomorrow. She is in a Kibbutz in the Middle East on a semester abroad and needs her folks to do a bit of legwork for her. They aren't helicopter parents. We have a nice, but long talk.
4:45 Research student again, confirming plans for the week.
5:10 *&@#$^)@*&!!!! Where has my day gone!?!?!? I only wanted to accomplish ONE tiny project today: get ONE problem on a test graded, and I couldn't even get that done. AUUUUUGHGHH??!?!? Ah, yes, must not stress. Relax for the baby... deep breaths, deep breaths. Stress must come down for the health of the baby....
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Lazy Bum, Good Dad
Spring Break, ahhhh...
Big plans to get all the grading done and get all the equipment ordered and tested for upcoming labs. Oh, yeah, and go the gym more. Oh, yeah, and organize the office and, and, and...
This morning I had a glucose tolerance test that they give to old preggos like me to make sure I don't have gestational diabetes. So, Boy woke up as normal at 5:30 am and I got him ready for the day care. I found it very difficult to go for 2 hours with nothing to eat until 7:30 when I was to drink the magic orange drink, then make my way to the Dr.'s office to have blood drawn at 8:30.
Well, I passed with flying colors, so my ice-cream rich diet is not in danger, but I was starving to deff! So I took myself to a diner and had a good-ol' American breakfast of eggs and hashbrowns. When I got home at 10a, I was pretty sleepy and took a wee nap - UNTIL 3pm!!!
Egads! I hope that this was refreshing and will "reset" me for several days, and not just indulging my fatigue while getting no benefits (BTW, still anemic; Hb 10.7). If I benefit from the rest, hallelujah. If I don't, I just wasted a huge chunk of a good day in which I could have gotten something significant done. Auuuugh!
_________________
Last night, the Boy was having a major meltdown while we were Skyping with Hub. He wouldn't allow himself to be set down, but wriggled out of being held. There was much screaming and crying, all visible to his Dad on the Skype screen. I said: I've fed him- I don't think he's hungry, maybe he's overtired- but there's no way I can get him to sleep like this- help! I'm exasperated and desperate!
Hub thought for a second, "try putting him in the bath" (not an every night occurrence for us, but one that Boy really enjoys). There mere mention of "bath" was enough to bring some sanity to the scene, and by the time Boy was surrounded by suds, he had returned to his human, happy self. The rest of the bedtime went perfectly.
The significance of this is that Hub 1) Misses boy terribly while away at his job and 2) feels guilty about not being able to help parent while away. There are 3)-10), but we will focus on 2). The fact that Hub could come up with a creative parenting solution from far away made him feel great. And of course I pointed out how helpful and insightful it was (I never would have thought, "I know! Let's try a bath!"). Apparently Hub felt so good about this that he e-mailed his parents about it. :) Well, that makes us all feel great.
Big plans to get all the grading done and get all the equipment ordered and tested for upcoming labs. Oh, yeah, and go the gym more. Oh, yeah, and organize the office and, and, and...
This morning I had a glucose tolerance test that they give to old preggos like me to make sure I don't have gestational diabetes. So, Boy woke up as normal at 5:30 am and I got him ready for the day care. I found it very difficult to go for 2 hours with nothing to eat until 7:30 when I was to drink the magic orange drink, then make my way to the Dr.'s office to have blood drawn at 8:30.
Well, I passed with flying colors, so my ice-cream rich diet is not in danger, but I was starving to deff! So I took myself to a diner and had a good-ol' American breakfast of eggs and hashbrowns. When I got home at 10a, I was pretty sleepy and took a wee nap - UNTIL 3pm!!!
Egads! I hope that this was refreshing and will "reset" me for several days, and not just indulging my fatigue while getting no benefits (BTW, still anemic; Hb 10.7). If I benefit from the rest, hallelujah. If I don't, I just wasted a huge chunk of a good day in which I could have gotten something significant done. Auuuugh!
_________________
Last night, the Boy was having a major meltdown while we were Skyping with Hub. He wouldn't allow himself to be set down, but wriggled out of being held. There was much screaming and crying, all visible to his Dad on the Skype screen. I said: I've fed him- I don't think he's hungry, maybe he's overtired- but there's no way I can get him to sleep like this- help! I'm exasperated and desperate!
Hub thought for a second, "try putting him in the bath" (not an every night occurrence for us, but one that Boy really enjoys). There mere mention of "bath" was enough to bring some sanity to the scene, and by the time Boy was surrounded by suds, he had returned to his human, happy self. The rest of the bedtime went perfectly.
The significance of this is that Hub 1) Misses boy terribly while away at his job and 2) feels guilty about not being able to help parent while away. There are 3)-10), but we will focus on 2). The fact that Hub could come up with a creative parenting solution from far away made him feel great. And of course I pointed out how helpful and insightful it was (I never would have thought, "I know! Let's try a bath!"). Apparently Hub felt so good about this that he e-mailed his parents about it. :) Well, that makes us all feel great.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Missing the cheerleaders.
One of our athletic teams is doing particularly well, going to a national tournament. We actually got tickets to a tourney game, hired a bbsitter and went. Before moving to Small Religious U, I had always been involved in a Division I school (international readers: for athletics purposes these are the largest schools; the smallest are division III). Athletic events, the few we went to, took a long time to get into, were in huge stadiums and arenas, had either a marching or pep band, and quite a big show during half time. When the game was over, there was a throng of people exiting so it took a while to get out.
The game we went to tonight had only recorded music, no cheerleaders to watch, and no half-time show. This was particularly noticeable to me since I was on the dance/drill team in HS. No half time show? You're kidding?!?! Nonetheless, the game was exciting and the small arena was packed. It was fun, and our team won. And we got home within 10 minutes.
Update on the health: I bought an iron supplement and with great hopes started taking it (Floradix). I couldn't keep it down, so when I took it, not only did I NOT get iron, but also wasted the meal I took it with. I bought another supplement, a big slice of beef liver, a bunch of beans and some iron fortified cereal. I'm hoping this combo will work. I'm just disappointed because my fatigue recovery will be delayed further.
The game we went to tonight had only recorded music, no cheerleaders to watch, and no half-time show. This was particularly noticeable to me since I was on the dance/drill team in HS. No half time show? You're kidding?!?! Nonetheless, the game was exciting and the small arena was packed. It was fun, and our team won. And we got home within 10 minutes.
Update on the health: I bought an iron supplement and with great hopes started taking it (Floradix). I couldn't keep it down, so when I took it, not only did I NOT get iron, but also wasted the meal I took it with. I bought another supplement, a big slice of beef liver, a bunch of beans and some iron fortified cereal. I'm hoping this combo will work. I'm just disappointed because my fatigue recovery will be delayed further.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
What do you do with only 6 good hours in the day?
Just one more whiny post, please?
I'm only good for about 6 hours each day.
Its certainly not enough to get my actual work done, let alone any extras. This fatigue is really shutting me down. Even if I stay at work for more than 5-6 hours, I am completely useless. Mind can't think, body doesn't move well, don't give a damn about anything.
I am terminally behind, and its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Monday things were so bad and I was so discouraged that I cried through the evening. That was actually funny in that the Boy had never seen me cry before, and he couldn't figure out what was going on with Mommys face and those funny noises. First he stared, then he laughed, then he looked sad.
I still rely on my village a lot, but I quit the supper club, because I can't even manage to make one elaborate meal each weekend. It's like "cutting off my nose to spite my face" as my Mom used to say because now I have to cook 5 small meals, and not one big one. Don't care, will make PB and J. Luckily this week, I've been invited for dinner twice. Let's see if I can actually get those thank you cards written.
Today marks officially the beginning of week 11. That means I am close to ending my first trimester. I can tell everyone next week (more understanding, perhaps?) and the FATIGUE should dissipate shortly thereafter. Can't wait for the second trimester springiness I got last pregnancy. Then it will all be better, and I will return to normal. Please let it be so.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Pining
I have described before here and here how hard it feels to have the Hub away for 4 days a week and managing the toddler by myself. There's also an element of loneliness to it, too. My level of pining for the hub increases exponentially from Monday morning, when he leaves to Thursday night when he returns.
With the pregnancy fatigue, the exponential that describes this pining has increased. It feels like on Thursday nights at dinnertime I am desperate for the help and intelligent companionship of my husband. It feels like a physical ache that subsumes my whole body, but especially my heart.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Insanely early
I am awake at a very unreasonable hour. That's because the pregnancy fatigue put me to sleep at an insanely early hour yesterday. I am pretty much finished at around 4 pm, so I just slog through the evening work: now limited to physical stuff like putting food out for Boy and myself, changing Boy, reading to him, etc. But prepping for lectures after Boy goes to sleep? Fuhgeddaboutit.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
It's baa-aaack
The fatigue.
The first time I was preggo, my first trimseter I was nauseated, yes, but never threw up. But WOW! I was sooo fatigued. 6 pm I was begging to go to bed. I could not keep up with all my grading.
I am already feeling the fatigue (and nausea) again. Progesterone sequesters every ounce of motivation I have flowing through my veins. I have SO MUCH TO DO in the next day and a half (and tomorrow is my birfday- a beeeeeg birfday) but it feels like I can't even lift my arms to type sometimes.
MUST. SLOG. ON.
must. write. syllabi.
must. make. monday's. lectures.
must..... zzzzznnngh
The first time I was preggo, my first trimseter I was nauseated, yes, but never threw up. But WOW! I was sooo fatigued. 6 pm I was begging to go to bed. I could not keep up with all my grading.
I am already feeling the fatigue (and nausea) again. Progesterone sequesters every ounce of motivation I have flowing through my veins. I have SO MUCH TO DO in the next day and a half (and tomorrow is my birfday- a beeeeeg birfday) but it feels like I can't even lift my arms to type sometimes.
MUST. SLOG. ON.
must. write. syllabi.
must. make. monday's. lectures.
must..... zzzzznnngh
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Tenure clock addendum; options for fall
I talked to my departmental chair today about my upcoming maternity leave. My due date is late August. Looks like I have several options.
1. Take the whole Fall semester off
2. Teach just the lecture portion of my Pet Class. It's basically all prepped.
3. Teach both the lecture portions of Pet Class and Advanced Cool Subject, which I've taught before.
4. Take my full load minus the labs that involve hazmat.
1. Whole semester off. This would allow me to spend a good 4 months with my newborn, be able to manage my toddler (who I imagine would still go to day care, at least part-time), my husband could still work 4 full days at Suburban MRU. I would still be a sleep deprived zombie, but just not one in front of a classroom. The hip thing*.
In this case, we'd have to put me and Boy on Hub's insurance, because I would lose mine.
2. Teach Pet Class lecture only. This is most appealing to me, but still doesn't bring me up to full-time status. This would involve me showing up 3 hours per week to lecture, perhaps add 1.5 hours a week to review my notes. Maybe an additional 1 hour per week to make and grade quizzes. I could use my old tests since I collect them every year. I would have to grade for 5 hours every three weeks for the tests. Add a few office hours in there... that's maybe 10 hours/ week of actual work. And it would keep me from being lonesome at home all day. I would have to put Widdlebitty into daycare or hire a bbsitter for at least those three hours/week. Baby sitters are abundant on college campuses. Widdlebitty could even be bbsat in my office. Then there's the hip thing*
3. Lecture of both classes. As above, but add another 10 hours/week on. To me it seems a bit much, BUT at this point, I would be considered full time and keep all my benefits. At a small college like ours, I could request that both of my classes are back-to-back, and the registrar can simply make that happen for me. :) Love that. If I was working this much, I would ask the Hub to be home more often. While he does computational work, he also has a supervisory role, and need to be there in the flesh a little.
4. Keep full time, farm out the portions of labs that involve hazmat, take my 4 weeks of full paid disability (yes, our maternity leave is really disability). This is what I did with the first baby. Big difference though, Hub did not have his job yet. He was a stay-at-home Dad. It's selfish, but it was ideal for me. :) I can't imagine doing this as a single Mom. no. no. no.
For one, I am a pretty laid-back parent. I trust the day care to "raise" my toddler, BUT they've had an influx of babies recently, and I see Widdlebitties crying in their cribs and not getting prompt attention. This causes me to bristle. For some reason my instinct is to attach, attach, attach at least until they grow a bit more independent (sitting up? 6 months?).
Here's an article I've read recently:
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200912/dobbs-orchid-gene/3
I could blog on it separately...
Hub is an orchid. I am a dandelion. I pray against/worry about my children as orchids. Do I feel the need to hover and cling, heck no. Do I feel the need to take the bonding/attachment process seriously. Heck yeah. Oh, oh yeah.
There's also the hip thing*
My chair said that he can't imagine this maternity leave being unfavorably viewed by the P and T committee. He looked at me like I was crazy when I asked. However, he would have to check to see if the fewer hours would calculate into later raises for me. It also may effect my sabbatical application, because they are competitive. More on that as I hear.
* The hip thing: Last pregnancy, as I grew closer to my due date, my joints all loosened up (as they do in all women). My hip joints were overzealous in their preparations to flex and open for baby's head squeezing out. I joke that they were more excited about childbearing than weightbearing.
My sacroiliac joint, the one that anchors the weight of your upper body to your hips, and therefore your legs, became extremely flexible and painful to the point I could not walk. I used crutches to ambulate, but it was still painful, and there are no safe (strong) painkillers for use while pregnant. I did get treated very well by the public. A hugely pregnant woman on crutches is a pitiful sight. :)
I could not walk for weeks before my delivery. I could not walk to ease/assist my labor. I could not walk or carry my baby for a week or so after the delivery (but now I could take drugs). After the birth it took FIVE MONTHS of physical therapy to have a day without achy hips.
I had a lot of help then. Now, my Hub is gone during the week. I try to imagine managing my 15 steps outside my home on crutches- carrying a toddler- let alone a diaper bag or my purse, and I just can't see that happening. Please, Lord, let this one pass over me this time.
1. Take the whole Fall semester off
2. Teach just the lecture portion of my Pet Class. It's basically all prepped.
3. Teach both the lecture portions of Pet Class and Advanced Cool Subject, which I've taught before.
4. Take my full load minus the labs that involve hazmat.
1. Whole semester off. This would allow me to spend a good 4 months with my newborn, be able to manage my toddler (who I imagine would still go to day care, at least part-time), my husband could still work 4 full days at Suburban MRU. I would still be a sleep deprived zombie, but just not one in front of a classroom. The hip thing*.
In this case, we'd have to put me and Boy on Hub's insurance, because I would lose mine.
2. Teach Pet Class lecture only. This is most appealing to me, but still doesn't bring me up to full-time status. This would involve me showing up 3 hours per week to lecture, perhaps add 1.5 hours a week to review my notes. Maybe an additional 1 hour per week to make and grade quizzes. I could use my old tests since I collect them every year. I would have to grade for 5 hours every three weeks for the tests. Add a few office hours in there... that's maybe 10 hours/ week of actual work. And it would keep me from being lonesome at home all day. I would have to put Widdlebitty into daycare or hire a bbsitter for at least those three hours/week. Baby sitters are abundant on college campuses. Widdlebitty could even be bbsat in my office. Then there's the hip thing*
3. Lecture of both classes. As above, but add another 10 hours/week on. To me it seems a bit much, BUT at this point, I would be considered full time and keep all my benefits. At a small college like ours, I could request that both of my classes are back-to-back, and the registrar can simply make that happen for me. :) Love that. If I was working this much, I would ask the Hub to be home more often. While he does computational work, he also has a supervisory role, and need to be there in the flesh a little.
4. Keep full time, farm out the portions of labs that involve hazmat, take my 4 weeks of full paid disability (yes, our maternity leave is really disability). This is what I did with the first baby. Big difference though, Hub did not have his job yet. He was a stay-at-home Dad. It's selfish, but it was ideal for me. :) I can't imagine doing this as a single Mom. no. no. no.
For one, I am a pretty laid-back parent. I trust the day care to "raise" my toddler, BUT they've had an influx of babies recently, and I see Widdlebitties crying in their cribs and not getting prompt attention. This causes me to bristle. For some reason my instinct is to attach, attach, attach at least until they grow a bit more independent (sitting up? 6 months?).
Here's an article I've read recently:
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200912/dobbs-orchid-gene/3
I could blog on it separately...
Hub is an orchid. I am a dandelion. I pray against/worry about my children as orchids. Do I feel the need to hover and cling, heck no. Do I feel the need to take the bonding/attachment process seriously. Heck yeah. Oh, oh yeah.
There's also the hip thing*
My chair said that he can't imagine this maternity leave being unfavorably viewed by the P and T committee. He looked at me like I was crazy when I asked. However, he would have to check to see if the fewer hours would calculate into later raises for me. It also may effect my sabbatical application, because they are competitive. More on that as I hear.
* The hip thing: Last pregnancy, as I grew closer to my due date, my joints all loosened up (as they do in all women). My hip joints were overzealous in their preparations to flex and open for baby's head squeezing out. I joke that they were more excited about childbearing than weightbearing.
My sacroiliac joint, the one that anchors the weight of your upper body to your hips, and therefore your legs, became extremely flexible and painful to the point I could not walk. I used crutches to ambulate, but it was still painful, and there are no safe (strong) painkillers for use while pregnant. I did get treated very well by the public. A hugely pregnant woman on crutches is a pitiful sight. :)
I could not walk for weeks before my delivery. I could not walk to ease/assist my labor. I could not walk or carry my baby for a week or so after the delivery (but now I could take drugs). After the birth it took FIVE MONTHS of physical therapy to have a day without achy hips.
I had a lot of help then. Now, my Hub is gone during the week. I try to imagine managing my 15 steps outside my home on crutches- carrying a toddler- let alone a diaper bag or my purse, and I just can't see that happening. Please, Lord, let this one pass over me this time.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Push the tenure clock back?
I was hosting the HS students who bussed in to see Cool Sciencey thing, and they seemed to love it. Ahh, the rewards. That felt great. As we were chatting with their teacher, he said, "last year you were on maternity leave when we took this trip". Yes, its true.
I was also working with my co-teacher for low-level absolute favorite subject which is taught every other year. We were trying to put the right year on last time we taught. I said, "was I pregnant then?" She said "yes, you announced during the semester".
Then it really hit me. By having my babies two years apart, conceiving at about the same time both times (Hey its cold out there in Jan... :) ), I am basically going to be missing a big chunk of my teaching. This is my fourth year. My second year spring, I was pregnant (and exhausted and nauseous) the spring semester, then I had maternity leave in the Fall of my third year. Now I am pregnant in the Spring of my fourth year and will have maternity leave the Fall of my 5th year. So 9 semesters, 4 affected by childbearing; That's 44% of my time here. OK, maybe I'm exaggerating, because I was able to work a lot of that. Let's then say 9 semesters, two in which I took major time off (the maternity leave). That means I've only really worked 78% of my semesters. That's a C+ .
I've been naively assuming that it wouldn't affect me negatively at tenure time. But now I'm starting to wonder: push back the tenure bid a semester? I'm loathe to do that, because I feel I am doing really well despite it. My evals are generally very good, and I haven't taken a lighter schedule aside from maternity leave. In addition, I've worked many summers voluntarily, serve on more committees than one should, do a ton of community service (i.e. the HS students). I am really pulling my weight around here, despite the single motherhood. My research is active and of good quality (but I haven't written that paper yet). Besides, given the difficulty we have finding adjuncts for me, I can't imagine I'd be easy to replace.
That sounds like a lot of hubris. I think I'll ask my chair what he thinks about the maternity/ tenure issue.
Any ideas from the intelligent people that nonetheless read my blog? :)
I was also working with my co-teacher for low-level absolute favorite subject which is taught every other year. We were trying to put the right year on last time we taught. I said, "was I pregnant then?" She said "yes, you announced during the semester".
Then it really hit me. By having my babies two years apart, conceiving at about the same time both times (Hey its cold out there in Jan... :) ), I am basically going to be missing a big chunk of my teaching. This is my fourth year. My second year spring, I was pregnant (and exhausted and nauseous) the spring semester, then I had maternity leave in the Fall of my third year. Now I am pregnant in the Spring of my fourth year and will have maternity leave the Fall of my 5th year. So 9 semesters, 4 affected by childbearing; That's 44% of my time here. OK, maybe I'm exaggerating, because I was able to work a lot of that. Let's then say 9 semesters, two in which I took major time off (the maternity leave). That means I've only really worked 78% of my semesters. That's a C+ .
I've been naively assuming that it wouldn't affect me negatively at tenure time. But now I'm starting to wonder: push back the tenure bid a semester? I'm loathe to do that, because I feel I am doing really well despite it. My evals are generally very good, and I haven't taken a lighter schedule aside from maternity leave. In addition, I've worked many summers voluntarily, serve on more committees than one should, do a ton of community service (i.e. the HS students). I am really pulling my weight around here, despite the single motherhood. My research is active and of good quality (but I haven't written that paper yet). Besides, given the difficulty we have finding adjuncts for me, I can't imagine I'd be easy to replace.
That sounds like a lot of hubris. I think I'll ask my chair what he thinks about the maternity/ tenure issue.
Any ideas from the intelligent people that nonetheless read my blog? :)
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