Thursday, March 22, 2012

repeat of last spring

Last spring I wrote that I was crushed under my workload and sole responsibilities at home. Looks like its going to be a repeat this year. I am NOT, repeat NOT prone to depression, I have only had this feeling after my Mom died young... and last Spring. The last two weeks I have been feeling bad, but I am doing these things differently:
- going to therapy. It's free from the "Employee Assistance Program"
- letting my Chair know its not going well. He said last year during my yearly evaluation "I had no idea! You seemed to be keeping up" (keeping up, my a**!)
- going to the gym on the weekdays by having our exchange student sit for me
- admitting that socializing is not a luxury and moving it up on the priority list.
- knowing that in 5 weeks it will be summer, and I can renew.
- working only 3/4 time next year, financial consequences be damned.
- making sure my thyroid meds are in order

I think that the #1 problem is chronicled here, here and here, my daughter's inability to sleep through the night. Two nights ago she woke up 5 times, last night three (and that felt great to me). Yes, its been an entire year and nothing has changed. What does that say about me/us?

Well, I am willing and desperate to hear your suggestions, or even empty encouragement at this point. :)


  1. Honestly what worked for us with sleeping was cosleeping. It didn't stop night wakings, but it made the night wakings match exactly with my sleep cycle so they didn't bother me. I would wake up refreshed. Eventually DC learned how to get my breast in his mouth and eat without even waking either of us up much.

    Eventually it shifted the other direction-- DC became larger, didn't need so much food at night, and started kicking. At that point we could reason with him and move him to his own bed.

    Sleep is always my #1 priority, so I do whatever works. Sleep training was not going to work. Going the opposite direction did.

    1. Thanks! It's the co-sleeping that isn't working, we have the kicking but also an immense demand for milk bottles throughout, despite trying valiantly to stuff her full with dinner beforehand.

    2. Here's how we ended cosleeping:

      We used Supernanny technique #2. (Her #1, which involves more screaming and walking out of bed on the kid's part, wasn't going to work.)

  2. I have found that the end of the semester, both Dec and Apr are incredibly hard for me. I basically want to quit my life by that point :) Then classes end and I don't anymore!

  3. sorry to hear this! young kids are tough. i didn't sleep through the night for a year and it almost killed me. in retrospect, I can't believe i functioned as well as I did. finally sleep trained at a year. (actually my husband did it). it was 3 painful nights, but the long term benefits (for both me and our little one) have been sooooo worth it.

    1. Looks like you are half a year smarted than us, as we are starting down the exact path, only a year later.

  4. I don't know how you keep doing what you're doing. {{Hugs}} to you and warm thoughts that perhaps things will be brighter soon.

    1. Thanks soooo much. I'll take your cyber hug. That's something else I'm really missing...

  5. We had to do the sleep training route. While my daughter started sleeping through the night- of her own volition- around 8 weeks, she stopped at 4 months. Actually, it was Mother's Day Eve when she decided not to sleep through the night anymore.

    It began months of waking up 3 to 5 times a night to nurse. I knew it was BS that she was hungry, because she' previously been able to sleep through the night, and she was only nursing for a few minutes before dozing off again- not enough to fill her or be nutritive. (I doubt your daughter is really so famished in the night that she needs milk bottles all night long).

    What pushed us to address it was that I was starting a new job and I knew that there was no way I would be functional without the sleep.

    We broke down and did some amalgamation of cry-it-out, Ferberizing, sleep training that worked for us. It was a rough week, but it got incrementally better starting on the second night.

    Wishing you well.