I went to the Women's clinic today for a special "celebration" of my children. My two children are special, unique and have my undivided love forever (I got a 10-year IUD). The Certified Nurse Midwife that placed the IUD was also the person who delivered my last baby, has been a guest lecturer in some of my classes, and is a Facebook friend.
She said "How ARE you?" as in, "I'm not chatting", to which I replied, "Fine. Well, no it's been a terrible semester. She doesn't sleep and I'm really suffering, and can't keep up at work." Then I said, "you know those cynical people who say you can't have it all? Well, they're right."
She said, "Yeah, that's the old-skool Feminism; get it all done at home and at work and still have a smile on your face. But here's the new Feminism: Take care of yourself. Because if Momma ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy."
I'm a fan of this new feminism. :)
ReplyDeleteI am also a fan of this new feminism!
ReplyDeleteThe new feminism sounds appealing... But very hard to pull off.
ReplyDeleteActually, I am really curious about your decision and experience with the IUD (from the 10 years you mention I assume it's a non-hormonal, copper IUD). I had one years ago and it was not too pleasant (painful periods) but I am also not a fan of taking hormones. I am trying to decide what to do after my No 3 is born (we're soooo done with 3) and I would be interested in how you made your decision. (We can also do it offline. Email geekmommyprof@gmail.com)
Apparently, it's important that it must be feminists who are to be blamed.
ReplyDeleteI hope you can catch a break soon. Where's the feminism fairy?
ReplyDeleteHere, here. I'll co-sign on that one, as well.
ReplyDeleteI call it "careful what you wish for". Instead of asking for equal jobs for all women, the old time feminists should have perhaps asked for equal numbers of stay at home parents of both sexes. Instead we now have a society where both spouses are (or have to be, or expect to be) employed, and everybody is tired and at the end of their rope.
ReplyDelete@Jenny There's a lot to still work on (a LOT) but a lot of really necessary wishes came true.
ReplyDeleteSorry if I'm thread-jacking-- just had to speak up.
When did that old school feminism take place -- I want a citation! I know the tv talked about "having it all" but did any actual feminists, actually informed, or actually thinking people?
ReplyDelete"the old time feminists" once again, who exactly? There's a huge difference between advocating equal opportunity, pay, non discrimination, etc., and the cooptation of that by an economy that makes double incomes more necessary than they were. Remember that actual "old time feminists" also advocated universal federally funded daycare, paternity leave, men doing housework, flex hours, etc. etc. etc.
ReplyDeleteHere:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.amazon.com/Feminine-Mystique-Betty-Friedan/dp/0393322572/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1307486552&sr=8-1
Anyway, you're taking my comment too literally - I wast just philosophizing on unintended consequences. I WOULD have been a miserable stay at home mom, although sometimes, as my child grows older in a blink of an eye, I wish I could afford it.
My argument on unintended consequences goes: if the large majority of families still had a stay at home mom, as the situation was in the 50's, it is likely that the pressures on politicians to make the necessary changes to maintain this standard would have been immense. I would argue that, perhaps, some of the wealth transfer to the wealthy, globalization, housing unaffordability, would have been addressed or regulated. The society-economy adjustment goes both ways.