Monday, December 17, 2012

Well its about time fergodssake.

I'm just finishing the draft of a manuscript of the work my students did in the lab about four years ago. I could spout to you about lack of time, etc., but the plain fact is that I procrastinated royally because 1. There was little external motivation to do so. Even going up for tenure my colleagues wrote that I was lacking in research publications, while still assuring me that things were looking good, 2. I must have some psychological fear of writing it. Am I afraid to look foolish or incompetent? Probably, and 3. I could not force myself to concentrate until put under the gun of a firm external deadline.

I got an intramural salary grant to write this manuscript this summer, and the report is due soon. I have written the majority of it in a apoplectic session in the past 4 days. In my report I will state that it is finished and out for editing among scientific peers. Good thing is, my husband is a scientific peer. :) He's also a comma curmudgeon, so it goes to him first.

I'm totally beating myself up about the time it took to get this out. Internally motivated much? Able to act professionally and accomplish what needs to be done despite fear much? Going to do well on your sabbatical where your peers have done this many, many times?

My deepest prayer is that by getting over the energy barrier, it will become much easier the next time (oh, yes we have the data for two... boom).

No comments:

Post a Comment