Lookin' Up

The depression I chronicled in the last post has abated for the most part. It was accompanied by terrible acne, my period after several weeks, and some other yukky symptoms you don't want to know about. I DID go see my doc, but told him I wanted to wait before starting antidepressants, just in case it cleared up on its own. I've been feeling myself for three days now, and I am very encouraged. The stress hasn't gone down, but I can once again enjoy the simple things in life (like spring blossoms!).

On the spiritual side, while I was in the midst of feeling terrible I saw a hidden blessing / call of God in it. That is to say, I love my job and if I were miserable otherwise it would be easier to let go of it and join my husband under a common roof. Depression as a solution to the two-body problem; God can work in mysterious ways. Nonetheless, I am feeling better, and therefore not miserable enough to quit my job and go live with my husband.

Going down fighting, but still going down...

I've been feeling bad lately. Sad, overwhelmed, limbs feel heavy, nothing is fun. I feel deeply lonely. It's been three weeks. I'm doing everything I can including asking for help, trying to do things that please me, getting rest, getting exercise. But I'm not feeling any better.

I've only been depressed once in my life before; after my Mom died at an early age. Either its hormonal or this lifestyle is just too much.