I'm not THAT kind of teacher. GRRRRR!!!!

Today I went to take Boy to the day care and the director tells me she can't take him today. Why not? Because Tuesdays are the day for daycare in the summer for teachers, and today is Monday. What do you mean, Summer? Teachers? Tuesdays?

There appear to be two and a half options for daycare. You can have your kid full time. Mkay. You can have your kid part time: three days a week, but they must be that way throughout your entire contract year. Mkay. Or IF you're a teacher, you can go to the summer schedule, which is 1 day a week (apparently Tuesday) for $140 per month.

The director knew I was a teacher (though she knew I didn't work for the city schools), and last week the city schools closed, therefore summertime starts and teachers go on the summer schedule. Apparently, it was assumed that I would do what all the other school teachers would do, and keep my boy myself since I didn't have to work. So she counted Boy out, and didn't schedule enough staff to meet ratios with him there. I was really irritated. REALLY IRRITATED.

Too bad, so sad, take the kid right back outta here and back to where you came from (of course she didn't say that, that's how I reacted to it).

OK. Let's be fair. We had a conversation in May about my options as an educator about day care. I remember specifically NOT committing to anything at that time. I remember saying that I may take SOME time off but not the whole summer. Secondly, apparently there is a newsletter for parents that is one of about 15 different piles of ads and irrelevant info on the foyer table that I failed to peruse and therefore failed to read. I don't know if it outlines when any deadlines for choosing summer teachers schedule vs full time is. Still, wouldn't you assume that my kid is coming if I don't say anything?!?!? I wonder if this has anything to do with my colleague who uses the same day care and takes the summer off to "mommy" (she doesn't have a research program, but I'm not going there...).

In any case, I may bear a fraction of the burden of this miscommunication, but much of it stems from the day care director's misunderstanding about my job. When describing myself to the public I have to choose whether to tell them I am a "teacher" or a "scientist". Apparently I should have told her I was a scientist, and not led her to believe that the moment the grade schools were out that I would no longer be working and therefore not need day care for my child.

I am really regretting signing a yearly contract now, because this feels like a straw on a camel's back. If not the last one, pretty close. One one hand, I'm tired of showing up to day care and not being able to bring Boy in. This has happened due to miscommunications and staffing three times now. Apparently the Director's disorganization and mine are exactly complimentary and result in a "perfect storm". These are not manageable surprises for me, and I don't know what else I can do, except give her an exact schedule of when Boy will need day care weeks in advance. On the other hand I do NOT want to irritate the person in charge of my child's welfare. Is this a battle I should "choose"? I will read that stupid newsletter and see if it's spelled out clearly if not, what should I do? What should I say? GRRRR.

Much warmer feet, like fire walking

This refers to the blog entry "Colder feet". Thanks for all your advice.
Ok, the title of this entry is exaggerated slightly. But we have had another big turnaround in our thinking of moving to a bigger house.

Tonight we did the official skritch skritch skritch of the pencils on paper to
1. List advantages and disadvantages of
A. Staying
B. Buying Upgrade or
C. Buying Stretch, and
2. Calculate monthly actual expenses for each option including utilities, taxes, insurance etc.

It seemed as though we could move into a 4-bedroom house with a yard for about $200 more in monthly payments than what we are paying now for a 3-bedroom townhouse, no yard. But then we discovered a big mistake: we weren't including our down payment in the calculations. When we subtracted our down payment from the purchase price of the home, BOTH 4 bedroom homes with a yard cost LESS PER MONTH including utilities than we are paying now. The difference is 1.5% less in interest rate and a Home Owners Association fee that we pay monthly to live here.

WE *HAVE* TO MOVE!

Now we have to decide between the two homes. Upon further investigation, we found that upgrade and stretch are really not that much different in value, and that "stretch" should be renamed "intimidating yard". We will take our list of ads and disads and prioritize them and then go through some sort of decision-making process to see where we should make an offer. Right now the biggest thing is the "feeling" of the places. This drives us scientists crazy how big of a factor something non-quantifiable can be in such a big decision!

Not so liberated after all...

My husband is a pretty progressive fellow. Despite the fact that he comes from a household with a successful academic Dad and a stay-at-home (very productive and perfect about the household) Mom, I have generally felt treated equally. In fact, we quantify the household duties on Chore Wars, and he is ahead.

He stayed at home with the Boy when he was very young while underemployed and enjoyed it.

He also relies on the League of Women Voters website for his political information prior to voting.

SO I was surprised to hear him say something yesterday that was not too progressive...

When I am really at the end of my rope, and this has happened about 3 times since we started this lifestyle, I question why the Boy stays with me and doesn't live with him. Why is Boy with Mom the default? Can we think about this?

He answered first in a way that I completely understand: Honey, THAT is home. THIS is just where I sleep until I can get home... (awww). And then he says, "besides, there's this societal thing that children belong with their Mother" and then he grins real big because he knows what he has just said.

Turd.

Well, I'm glad he's honest about his prejudices, and feels free enough to discuss them with me. He's still the same guy, but I was surprised to hear that!!

To Student: don't go there.

Had a meeting with Stu yesterday. My reaction to Stu wanting to go into a PhD program?

I discouraged Stu saying, "In this market, there are fewer and fewer students I would encourage taking the path I did". Stu replies, "but by the time I'm done, the market will be different."

This brings up the old advising dilemma of the "cheerleader" vs the "gatekeeper" which needs a whole blog of its own.

Colder feet.

Everything seems to be a "go" on this house, EXCEPT...
We found three more houses on that block with similar configuration and pricing within our range. This has changed things considerably.

1. We feel less rushed. Our "upgrade" is still priced the cheapest, but it doesn't suddenly feel like it will be snatched out from under us.

2. The outdated wall coverings, light fixtures, and sinks/showers bother me now a bit more.

3. We are wondering if the good feeling we had about this house was due to comparison to the crappy houses we had seen before it.

We will look at one of the "upgrade"'s competitors, let's call it: FSBO because both owners have been long term unemployed but don't really want to leave and have recently sunk a lot of money remodeling it to the gills so can't go down on price with an elaborate garden that is frankly conservatory-worthy and therefore intimidating to people like us who can barely get our trash out on the proper day and is on the very upper limit of our willingness to pay but could be a great investment.

Or let's call it the "stretch" for short.

Stretch is about $20-$22k more than upgrade, but has a full basement (more sq ft total) and nearly 3/4 acre land in the city (upgrade has 1/3 acre)...one more bath than upgrade, and one less car garage. Stretch might afford more flexibility in closing, i.e. be willing to tolerate a "we sell before we buy" contingency than upgrade.

And our real estate agent is pessimistic about the sale of out house. This hasn't changed much, but its sinking in now. We are getting a bit of cold feet right now.

Advice?

More good news.

Had an evaluation with the dept chair today. It's new this year for the chair to meet with each individual faculty year-end and discuss our yearly reports and "goals". I think it has something to do with the new provost...

Anyway, he seemed slightly uncomfortable, as in "I prefer to be your colleague that does chair paperwork for course release, rather than your boss who evaluates you". In any case, I used the opportuninity to ask flat-out what my chances are of getting tenure in two years, because well, we're looking at houses.

He said, "Your chances are excellent".

:) Well, that makes me happy.

itty bitty unrelated vent

If I read the phrase "super excited" embedded somewhere in my cousin's Facebook status update for the 4th time this week, I just MIGHT have to make a snarky comment. Barf.
Like, gag me with a spoon!