tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3668460283955922895.post3633818296655133971..comments2023-07-05T02:15:26.621-07:00Comments on The Two Body Problem: Where are students supposed to learn this?PUI profhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478071402571477766noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3668460283955922895.post-31076489683769616152010-04-10T21:06:29.904-07:002010-04-10T21:06:29.904-07:00I was taught not to ask for a reference letter in ...I was taught not to ask for a reference letter in person, if intending to inquire whether it would be a strong endorsement or not. This is simply to avoid putting the potential referee on the spot. <br /><br />However, I was also taught only to request letters from people who had had ample opportunity to evaluate me, and by corollary, would know me just from my name in an email.Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03856497590345040480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3668460283955922895.post-26185073024683193352010-04-04T09:54:44.457-07:002010-04-04T09:54:44.457-07:00II, I do agree with you somewhat on the face-to-fa...II, I do agree with you somewhat on the face-to-face, especially if they aren't in town. But I do say MOST proper, and ANY TIME YOU CAN. While students aren't wired that way, they will eventually have to interact with others of different generations, and those who have a repertoire of etiquette that applies to several different populations will succeed more easily than those who don't. At least that's the worldview I am working from.PUI profhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12478071402571477766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3668460283955922895.post-44047530525983482152010-04-04T07:43:09.244-07:002010-04-04T07:43:09.244-07:00I'm not sure where I learned it, but I complet...I'm not sure where I learned it, but I completely agree with asking first if an advisor/prof is willing to write a positive recommendation. Although this may be difficult to do, the last thing a student should want is a poor letter or rec heading out to an internship or job that he or she really wants. This, in fact, happened to me when I asked my academic advisor for a rec when I was an undergrad. Apparently, my advisor didn't know me as well as I thought, and while he didn't say anything negative about me, he didn't have much positive to say about me either. He also mis-attributed one of my proudest accomplishments as being a joint venture between myself and a friend, whom he named in my letter, and who was awarded the honor I was also applying for. (It's a mystery to me why I was given the letter when I went to retrieve my other application materials after I was turned down. I wish that they hadn't.)<br /><br />I do, however, have to disagree about asking for recs face-to-face. While I agree that this is the most polite, in today's electronic age students just aren't wired that way. Also, it can be difficult to track down some profs and it seems more polite to give an advisor/prof as much time as possible to write the recommendation than it is to make sure that I make a face-to-face request.Grading Voyagerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16334791440913287150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3668460283955922895.post-85264399358305157742010-04-03T12:20:06.741-07:002010-04-03T12:20:06.741-07:00Just to clarify: I am his academic advisor, not re...Just to clarify: I am his academic advisor, not research advisor. I am the only one in his field this year (there is another on sabbatical).<br /><br />I have actually tried to pawn him off on to the advisor for students on academic probation (dude has a 1.8 GPA).<br /><br />Yes, I don't know if this is outdated etiquette or perhaps I had a very stodgy Jr. High gifted teacher, BUT at least one of those websites backs me up on this. <br /><br />http://gradschool.about.com/od/askingforletters/a/askletter.htm<br /><br />Its true that asking first whether they can give you a good one takes, well, cajones, but it seems like that's what you really want to do in that situation, doesn't it?<br /><br />p.s. I may have lost a comment somehow, please repost!PUI profhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12478071402571477766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3668460283955922895.post-70585650245104518022010-04-03T11:59:09.718-07:002010-04-03T11:59:09.718-07:00tell him to switch advisorstell him to switch advisorsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3668460283955922895.post-28961921389818048242010-04-03T11:34:06.586-07:002010-04-03T11:34:06.586-07:00I've never heard that about asking for recomme...I've never heard that about asking for recommendation letters in person. <br /><br />I've also never heard that you should ask first if they can write a favorable letter for you. But maybe that's because the farther along you go, you have no choice. Your thesis & postdoc advisor have to write those letters. And if they don't have enough spine to tell you they won't be good letters, doesn't that indicate they're horrible mentors? Not giving you enough feedback in general?<br /><br />So to answer your question, no, nobody taught us that in college or junior high. Not where I went to school. Where are you supposed to learn it, indeed? Maybe you should write a book? You could call it something like Best Practices - Things We Should Have Told You Sooner. <br /><br />Funny that you said he should ask a professor who has had him in class. My rule is to decline unless I've actually worked with them in some capacity, ideally in lab or on a publication together. <br /><br />Does he need to be literate to be a neurosurgeon? Or socially capable? I'm thinking maybe not. But I certainly agree with your wanting to turn down the request. I would, too.Ms.PhDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06542602867472447035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3668460283955922895.post-74594592534958913062010-04-02T14:46:46.630-07:002010-04-02T14:46:46.630-07:00Wowza! At least he didn't tweet it to you. :)...Wowza! At least he didn't tweet it to you. :)<br /><br />I don't know if I would do it. If isn't capable of going through the correct channels to get a LOR, maybe he doesn't need to be applying for a Blahdy-blah scholarship. But I consider myself a hardass on stuff like this. I will confess that the students are scared of me.LabMomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07726099241951657388noreply@blogger.com